63 Things

In no particular order here are 63 Things I Am Thankful For:

  1. I am alive – Things would be pretty boring if I was dead.
  2. My relative good health – Sure I should get in shape and take care of my Morton’s neuroma but all things considered I am doing pretty well.
  3. My family – Even though I bitch about them they are always there for me.
  4. My friends – Whether it be people I see all the time, those I barely see or those I just talk to thru e-mail chat or text; thanks for letting me entertain you and thanks for keeping me around long after I have worn out my welcome. I don’t know what I’d do without each of you.
  5. My job – Sure I am underpaid and I get annoyed here on a daily basis but it is better than the extreme alternative.
  6. WMGK – Radio is not dead. This station gets me through work and car rides and listening to a local DJ is severely underrated.
  7. My cousins – It don’t consider them cousins; I am happy to call them my friends. Shout out to my favorite cousin, you know you who are.
  8. My Aunts and Uncles – All are my friends and some so much more; thanks for always being there for me.
  9. Tom Petty – I could get lost in his music for hours and he played a concert for me on my birthday this year which was pretty freakin’ cool.
  10. My grandparents – None are with me anymore but I still think of them every day and am grateful for the positive impact they had on my life.
  11. My work friends – They are all crazy menopausal women but they make coming to work fun, for the most part.
  12. This blog – I know I should write more and I will start doing that but it’s nice to have an outlet other than social media to share your thoughts.
  13. #TeamMossimo – I don’t remember much of what we do but I know we always have fun.
  14. Vacations – The three I took this year were top notch. It’s time to start planning next year’s.
  15. Downey’s – You may be an old dirty dive bar but you’re my old dirty dive bar and the group of people I know through Downs are all top notch.
  16. The Ginals – Remember that dumb name? I know we don’t see each other as often as we used to but when we do get together, “we don’t even have to try – it’s always a good good time.”
  17. Amazon.com – I buy everything on Amazon; it’s so easy and convenient.
  18. The Phillies – Yea they suck and yea I went to 20 games this season and yea they weren’t all very fun and yea I spent a ton of money on them but spending time at the game with people I care about is priceless.
  19. The Sixers – To quote Steve Miller, “You know you got to go through hell before you get to heaven.”
  20. The Eagles – A winning record for two straight years with a young team and a young “inexperienced” coach; in Chip we trust.
  21. The Flyers – Another tough year but you gotta believe Hexy will turn it around.
  22. Karoake – Yea I can’t sing but that’s not the point. For a brief moment in time you get lost in a song and imagine yourself on stage entertaining thousands; at least that is always my experience.
  23. The Three Best Friends – Thanks for welcoming into your group with open arms and claiming me as your “special boy.”
  24. Miller Lite – I don’t care what Quotations in Media says, I love the triple hops brewed taste.
  25. Crown Royal – So smooth that Dr. J is their spokesman.
  26. Good bartenders – Yea it is a fun job but most of their customers are dicks and they still bust their ass to make sure you have a great time and a full drink. There are no good bars without great bartenders.
  27. Days and nights by the pool – Sitting poolside with good people, good food and cold beer; summers don’t get much better than that.
  28. Weddings – Drinking, dancing and dressing up are three of my favorite things to do.
  29. Wildwood – Is there a better place to vacation every year other than the shore? Maybe but I haven’t found it yet.
  30. Clearwater – I like to call Clearwooder, Wildwood in March. Look forward to continuing this annual trip because it’s become much about more than just the Phillies.
  31. The Bag’s cooking – In the words of Andy P, “SO GOOD.”
  32. A good laugh – I love making people laugh but it is even better when someone makes me laugh.
  33. New Year’s Day – The only city where New Year’s Day tops New Year’s Eve is Philadelphia and I love every crazy minute of a very long but extremely fun day.
  34. Philadelphia – The greatest city on Earth.
  35. Getting lost in a conversation – Despite my sometimes awkwardness I am a social creature and suddenly realizing you’ve been talking to someone for hours even though it feels like minutes always amazes me.
  36. Dancing – I am still not sure if I am a good dancer but I do have several patented moves.
  37. TV Shows – I will binge watch a show before I even watch one movie. I don’t really know why but it could be because most TV shows nowadays are so much better than movies.
  38. HBO – Their original programing is always on point.
  39. IMDb – I never have to ask myself how do I know that actor and it keeps me up to date on all the TV news I need to know.
  40. Wikipedia – I pride myself of knowing a little bit about everything and when I don’t, I turn to this magnificent website.
  41. A good book – It has been awhile since I have been unable to put a book down; I should really find a new one to read.
  42. Good times with good people – Is there really anything else in life?
  43. My memory – It never fails me.
  44. Beetlejuice – My favorite movie since I was 2 years old.
  45. Faulk – Need I say more?
  46. Live music – Whether it be a Who concert or a cover band there is just something special about listening to music live.
  47. Coca-Cola – A can a day keeps Joey D. A-ok.
  48. Moving to Chi – I loved South West Philly but I can’t imagine not meeting the people I did when I moved.
  49. Ali – Without her I wouldn’t know the Ewings! For real though she’s been my best friend for a long long time and I wouldn’t want it any other way. The inside jokes and the conversations over the years have and will always be on point.
  50. Andrew – There’s no one I would rather steal the show from than the man himself, Andy P. He can always make me laugh and is a blast on the weekends and on vacation.
  51. Chelle – She’s always there to talk to and to share a laugh with. Plus she continuously puts up with my general ridiculousness. Move closer, please!?
  52. Eddie – He has always got my back and always ready for a good time. Thanks for being my tag team partner the greater part of 10 years.
  53. Heath – I miss our pizza and park time but boner is always a good time.
  54. Jessica – My planner in crime. We should really become party planners or travel agents, how hard can it be? We are professionals after all.
  55. Kelly – Always there when I need a place to stay, introduced me to great groups of people and reminds me how to be a good friend when I am a bad one.
  56. Nate – Still mad he moved away but only cause this guy is ready for anything, no questions asked. Come home Nate believe it or not people do miss you.
  57. Ray – One of my oldest friends and always there to lend a hand. Thanks for choosing me as your best man and trusting me to be godfather of your kid.
  58. Steph – Boops. She’s always there to give me the advice I never want but need. Plus we are naturals on the dance floor.
  59. Tim – Always there on Quizzo night and so many great jokes and memories for over 10 years.
  60. Todd – I rag on him all the time and he takes it in stride but I can always count on him to answer technical questions plus he introduced me to paging.
  61. My Brother – Yea we don’t always get along but in the end we have a bond that goes deeper than blood. Thanks for always being there for me even when I don’t deserve it.
  62. My Parents – They sacrificed so much and continue to sacrifice to provide a better life for their kids. Their selfless actions made me the person I am today.
  63. Nooch – I love that word.

And I will leave you with something I wrote many years ago that still applies today:

Things don’t have to be big to have an impact in our daily lives. Small sometimes insignificant things can change our mood, make us smile. Life is just one huge event with a bunch of little ones in between. Enjoy the small things; be thankful for them; not only on Thanksgiving but every day.

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#TBT, Rambling, Xanga

#TBT – Aprih 24th, 2011 – Stab at Stream of Consciousness

I don’t have Instagram and I don’t take pictures but I do have 163 (no lie) entries from my old Xanga account. Not all of them are from my proudest moments but I figured I’d share some of the ones I enjoyed writing and reading. The first one today is from April 24th 2011. I have been obsessed with writing a stream of consciousness novel for sometime and this was one of my attempts at writing like that…

There are now almost 7 billion people living in this world. Seriously? Do you know how many people that is? I don’t. I can’t even imagine knowing over 100 people but seriously think about it. Everyone you see during your day has a back story, some story to tell. How can it be real? I know it is but it is mind boggling to think about. To make matters worse it was actually proven that just about anyone in the world can be connected to anyone else through 6 people, like that game 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon but with real life shit. ABC or some outfit like that, I love when people use outfit like that and not like something you wear, did a study and connected a couple of random people through 6 people or less. Seriously? Shit people write movies and add extras that don’t get names but you mean to tell me that everyone I see everyday and even the people I don’t living in 3rd world countries have back stories? I mean no one is probably as interesting as me but I bet some are like that old dude form thos Dos Equis commercials, man do I envy him. I love those commercials, much more than I love the beer, I remember the first time I had the beer it was up at DSU for Cinco de Mayo, Jake had purchased the beer and I thought it was the best beer ever, way better than that shit Sol other people were drinking. I thought it was so good I made Easy Mac with it. Then I chugged a bottle of Tequlia, hooked up with some girl, threw up and then passed out on the porch. Woke up the next day and had no idea where I was but I wasn’t the biggest ass hole that night. Since that night though I have pretty much retained that ass hold drunk title, am I proud of it, I mean I guess a part of me is but I guess I have to grow up eventually, ugh. In other news I learned that I should really stop planning things because I am much better on the fly. What I mean is that I like the plan things out in my head and when they don’t go as planned I get flustered and make thins awkward. Really I should just let things roll and go along with things because I am less awkward, I know hard to believe, but it works like 1 out of 6 times. For instance I was at the Olde State Tavern out in Media last week, I am almost like a regular there, weird I know. I just found out that my boy Phillip goes there, he’s the man, I need to party with him. Anyway so I was there and once again it was awkward at some point. The week before when I was there, there was this db and his db son drinking a db drink, half bucca and half jager, disgusting. Did you know that Cee Lo Green’s real name is Thomas DeCarlo Callaway, I mean we could be related right we both got soul and dress like Elton John. Man I should have been born in the 70s. Great music. White pants. Long hair. Depressed. So anyway back to the olde state, I was there with my friend Jacqueline and her friend Emily, I think she spells it some other way but whatever and there was this weirdo there. So of course they were talking about him because that’s how they roll. Well the dude apparently starts glaring at our table. I had my back to him and I was like shit I really don’t want trouble but I get one look at him and I say well he looks medicated tonight so that’s good he wont be dangerous just awkward. Well he glares at us again and finally comes over to the table and is like stuttering and saying um a lot and taking forever to get words out and finally asks how is it possible that they are two beautiful girls at this table and only one guy. So on the fly, see I tied it all together, I respond with well buddy I am going to let you in on a little secret, and you can’t tell anyone but we are polygamists, they are both my wives. Well the look on his face was priceless, he bought every word of it and totally believed it, congratulated me and left us alone all night. At the end of the night he actually came over and told me how lucky I was. The weirder part is though that we actually thought the people next to us were plygs. There was one guy macking it with two chicks, so either he was a divine priesthood holder with sister wives or just some scum bag banging his girlfriend’s friend. Wait, what’s the difference? I immediately regret saying that cause Bill Hendrickson, spoiler alert, rest in peace, is my man. I am a bit disappointed with the NHL playoff commercials this season. They were so epic last year but this year, not so much. Hopefully they will get better. I also hate how everyone is trying to copy off of the Dos Equis dude in their commercials nowadays. I mean I know imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but do it right. Do you guys like this stream of consciousness entry? I think I might write a novel like that. See what happens though. I love HBO and just about everything they do. I know they fucked up by picking John from Cincinnati over Mad Men but I mean you can’t be perfect unless of course you are the most interesting man in world. I mean but The Wire, The Sopranos, Big Love, True Blood, Temple Grandin, You Don’t Know Jack and now their latest, Cinéma Vérité that sees James Gandolfini return to HBO as a documentary film maker looking to film a true American Family. It is the true story of the first reality TV show that aired on PBS in the 70s. The movie centers around the making of the film and how James Gandolfini’s character influences what happens in the house and how the actual camera crew tries to prevent the family from breaking apart. It was another gem from HBO and I want to now actually see the show from the 70s but apparently you can’t find it. Really Netflix? Letting me down again. I love all this talk of the instant streaming but really every movie I want to watch I have to get the DVD and really that is just too much work. I really should start writing more I mean it gives me an outlet to tell stories that no one wants to hear and it beats having a conversation with yourself. Did you see that new show on FX with that hobbit that looks like Nate Babe? FX is saying it’s a new original comedy but actually it’s an import from Australia I think. Imported form Detroit, the Chrysler 200, might be my new car. Anyway so this new show looks interesting. The main character is about to commit suicide but before he can go through with it his new neighbor shows up and asks if he can watch her dog. Well he sees a guy in the dog suit but everyone else in the world sees a real dog. Kind of like that movie with Mel Gibson and the beaver puppet, no joke that movie was actually made, which gives me hope that my movie with Todd and Nate to a lesser extent can be made. So anyway this dog, a guy in a dog suit, becomes his best friend. Looks interesting at least. I wish sometimes Lucy could talk, that would be ballin. I’ve been home alone with her the past two days. It is very refreshing. I haven’t been home alone since my mom lost her job and I probably never will be again with my Aunt living with us but I enjoyed it so much last night that I stayed in and was sober, weird right? I was thinking though I needed a night to relax and to wake up the next morning without a hangover but don’t worry I am drinking tonight as I am writing this. I love the NHL playoffs I literally could not breathe after the Flyers scored today, thankfully they won and I don’t have to end this entry with I’m out like the Flyers, that would be depressing. I am doing my part and not shaving, nothing new for me really but I am getting a neck beard or a neard as made famous by Koy Detmer, I just realized I am not adding hyperlinks to this entry, deal with it, that is of course if you are still reading this. I am almost at two pages in a Word document. I think I should stop but I might start wring a novel like this.

I’m out like Bill Hendrickson. (spoiler alert)

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10 Dates, Rave

10 Dates in the Past – December 15th 1945

It’s been awhile since I did this but this is the next installment in 10 dates. I thought it would be cool to if given the chance pick 10 dates to visit in the past. The next one is a personal one and although it is fourth on my list, remember the list isn’t in any particular order.

  1. December 15, 1945 – The Wedding of My Grandparents – South Philadelphia

My dad’s mom loved to tell stories and everyone loved to listen to them because they were always so colorful. She grew up a poor Irish Catholic in an Italian neighborhood in South Philly. Her father was a master plumber but like most Irish, he drank away all the money. She would tell stories of her father coming home drunk and putting a pot of spaghetti on his head and putting meatballs in his pockets. He would then proceed to walk down 9th street throwing the meatballs at kids because he was pissed his daughters were cooking Italian food. The way she told the stories made the absurd sound casual and through her I learned the art of storytelling.

I’ve never met anyone who was able to tell a story like my grandmother and I was thrilled when my aunt recently gave me a cassette tape of my cousin interviewing my grandmother. It felt like magic to once again hear her voice and have stories of her childhood come to life. One story on the tape that I had yet to hear was how she met and married my grandfather. They had lived in the same neighborhood and one day my grandfather asked her out on a date. She politely declined because she knew he was going with this other girl. That other girl threatened to cut my grandmother’s face with a milk bottle and she responded with, “honey this face is too pretty for you to scar.” My grandfather was persistent and soon they were going together and after the war they got married.

Their wedding took place December 15, 1945 in South Philly. Their wedding was no grand affair, they made sandwiches the night before and only had beer and whiskey at the reception. I do not know if my great grandfather showed up sober or drunk and caused some antics but judging by his track record I will go with the later. As great as my grandmother was at telling stories to be able to go back and see a story of hers actually come to life would be amazing. To finally see my grandparents young, to meet that man who loved to wear spaghetti on his head, to see the old neighborhood as she remembered it would be a sensory overload and I would enjoy every moment of it.

Their wedding picture, the one at the top of this blog, hung in their house for as long as I could remember. As a kid I could not comprehend that the people in the photo were my grandparents and I had wished for years that picture would come to life. This would be my chance and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

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Rant

Voicemails

I love voicemails. I love leaving them and I love receiving them. I don’t understand why people are so against them. There is nothing more awkward than talking to someone on the phone. Well actually there are things more awkward BUT talking on the phone is one of my least favorite things to do. There is just some kind of pressure that comes with talking on the phone; the phone is ringing for a reason. There are no visual cues to aide in conversation when talking on the phone which only leads to awkward silences and interruptions. Leaving a voicemail solves those problems and makes a phone call much more pleasant to make.

No one calls just to say hello, don’t believe them because there is always some ulterior motive when that phone rings. There are dozens of reasons why people call each other and not one of them is just to say hello. The phone rings because they want something from you. They want to tell you a story, they want to ask you a question, they want to hear a story, they have a favor to ask you or they are bored and want to pass the time, etc. When the phone rings and I see the name on the caller ID, I run scenarios through my head of why that person is calling me and not just sending a text. Now I grant you most of these scenarios are inane and I am crazy but that’s just how I roll.

Now people will tell you that with the advent of caller ID there is no reason to leave a voicemail; I call bullshit. Yea so what I know who called but it is more important to know what you WHY you called. Before I go on let me just say that called ID is probably the single most important invention of the 20th century. Ok maybe that is a bit of a stretch but I can’t imagine answering a phone without caller ID. I never answer the phone unless I know who is calling me; that is of course if I answer the phone. There is nothing worse when you see a missed call from a number that you don’t recognize and they don’t leave a voicemail. Really, that’s cool.

The only thing worse that small talk is small talk on the phone. The key to small talk is usually talking about the weather but that is nearly impossible on the phone and when it is possible talking about the weather is just plain stupid. Without the aid of seeing your face and judging your reactions I have nothing to build the conversation on. I also have no idea of when you are about to speak which then leads to both of us talking at the same time or the dreaded awkward silence. Dead air and constantly losing my train of thought from an interruption is not how I want to spend the precious little time I spend on the phone.

Frankly, Voicemails are more efficient than just a missed call and should be used more often. A voicemail leaves you ample time to state why you are calling which then removes all the anxiety of the missed call. I do not need to wonder why you called me and I can put those inane scenarios to bed. It also allows me to decide how important it is that I call you back. When I do call you back we can cut right to the chase instead of wasting our time on small talk and pleasantries.

So the next time I don’t answer the phone, save me the anxiety, leave me a voicemail and let me call you back. Don’t be surprised though if I just shoot a text, sorry but that’s how I roll.

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Rambling

Dream On

I am not a very visual person. My brain is just not wired that way. It should translate into me taking more pictures but that’s a different story for another day. Everyone’s brain is wired differently but across all those different configurations no one is wired to access 100% of their brains. If someone was wired that way the possibilities would be limitless (anyone see that movie?).

Since I am not a visual person I rarely dream and when I do I only remember clips and phases with many details overlooked. I don’t always see faces, images are not completely processed, the background is not flushed out, etc. On the rare occasion that I do dream and it is one that I retain a good portion of I am always amazed at the power of the subconscious.

For example the other night I dreamt I was buying a birthday card for my grandmother’s 50th birthday party. Now I was not alive when either of my grandmother’s turned 50 but here I was in the store attempting to buy a card. I can still see the aisle (a few more days and I won’t) and there were tons of people in the store buying cards. I saw faces and even almost got into an altercation with another guy buying cards. Now being the sentimental person that I am I wanted the perfect card to make her laugh and cry. I searched through at least six cards. Each card I picked up had a distinct design on the front and distinct words contained within. Two of the cards I picked up didn’t have enough words or I didn’t like the first couple lines so I put them back. The two in the middle said Nana or Grandma on them and I never called her that. The last two were lengthy. My memory fails me now on what they exactly said but they were my feelings in some poetry form.

Where in the hell did all of that come from? I can barely describe places I have been or describe someone but my subconscious is able to create an entire aisle of cards and people shopping. It takes me hours to write a blog entry but my subconscious can whip up beautiful poetry? What the hell, we should be more conscious of our subconscious.

With that being said, I am a firm believer in “sleeping on it.” There have been several times in my life when I have slept on something and in my dream answered a question or was guided in the right direction. I’ve read that the subconscious is a vast library of all your experiences and emotions. We use experiences and emotions when faced with decisions; it is just not fair that we only have access to a limited portion of those tools.

If we had access to more of them I think the possibilities would be limitless. I am not talking about telepathy or being able to do crazy math problems I am just talking about being able to remember where you saw something before or how you felt at a similar time in your life; access to information that could help you when faced with a problem. I love to be informed and it irritates me that I am only able to access my subconscious through uncontrollable dreaming. Someone needs to get me a library card to my subconscious because my dreams just aren’t cutting it.

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Rant

Please Don’t Say That…Again

I am back at it again with things you should never say to me when we are engaged in a conversation. The first is when someone tells me to listen. What the hell do you think I have been doing this whole time? I am listening to everything you are saying. Now I might not be actually hearing and paying attention to you but that is a different story. I am definitely listening to you. I am listening for those awkward silences, any key words that catch my attention, and waiting for the time to say yes or another affirmative response and attempt to change the conversation. I am always listening to you. Also when you tell me to listen you are implying that the rest of this conversation meant nothing and now it is time to pay attention. Don’t waste my time with boring stories just to tell me something good. Worst of all is when you are in conversation with someone and they are only in the conversation to ask you a favor. So they go on and on and try to gauge what mood you are in just to finally say listen, can you do this for me? Seriously? Just ask the god damn favor and don’t waste my time.

Similar to listen is “hear me out.” When someone asks me to hear them out, I know from the jump that the conversation isn’t going to end well. You have prematurely decided that what you are about to say is not something that I will agree with and want to ensure I do not immediately jump down your throat. Truth is though that by saying that you have gotten my guns up and I am already countering what you are going to say instead of hearing what you are trying to say. I love arguments and I love a good hash out session, I don’t need you to get me ready for that, I am always ready for it. I’d rather it happen organically then you deciding for me.

As I just mentioned I love to argue. Don’t get me wrong I am not talking about arguments where you scream and yell at each other. I am talking about playful arguments or those that let you get things off your chest and in the end no one hates each other. There is nothing more fun than trying to make someone see your point. With all that being said, don’t ever tell me to agree to disagree. What in the hell is the point of doing that? Like when someone says fine, you are consenting defeat. I don’t want to agree to disagree I want you to just agree with me or I want you to change my mind. What is the fun in agreeing to disagree? When you agree to disagree you are really just saying this is about to get ugly so let’s just drop it; which means we probably shouldn’t have talked about it in the first place.

So now that you have listened and heard me out please let’s just agree to disagree if you disagree with anything in this post.

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Rant, Uncategorized

Give Gifts, Not Presents

Before I go into the extreme and inane levels of anxiety I get when giving or receiving a present, there is something I have to explain to you. There is a difference between a gift and a present. A gift can be given without the giver being present. I shouldn’t have to explain the rest but I will. The giver has to be present to present the present for it to be a present. Isn’t it crazy how that works? Look at the homophones I used to explain it. The English language man, it is nuts!

With that being said, I love giving gifts. I don’t like giving presents. I love getting gifts. I don’t like getting presents. If you have read this blog then you are sure to know how awkward of a person I can be. There are only a few things in life that are more awkward than the anticipation when a present is about to be presented. The thoughts and emotions running through my body as the wrapping paper is removed is enough to send me into a panic attack.

When I am the presenter, in my head I build up the expectation that I purchased the perfect thing. The closer I get to presenting the present I begin to doubt my once confident assertion. I start ask myself a series of questions, what if they don’t like it? Will they come right out and tell me? Worse will I be able to read it on their face? Will they ever use or wear it? Sometimes I almost don’t even want to give it or just leave it on their door step and run away. This is why I love Amazon.com, I can order anything I want it, have it shipped directly to the recipient, and with my Prime membership I can do it very close to the date I want. Best of all I don’t have to wrap the gift (that’s an entry in itself) or be there when they open it. Instead I just impatiently wait for the text or call that they received it and not know if they are lying when they say they love it!

I am not a very excitable person. I rarely get excited about things until they happen. It sucks but that’s how I roll. When someone is excited to present me with a present, all those questions I think about as a presenter I turn on myself and hope I do not embarrass anyone. More often than not I genuinely like the present but I rarely ever match that level of excitement of the presenter. I’d be much more comfortable if I was given a gift. That way I would have time to process the gift and prepare a very eloquent thank you text message cause there is no chance in hell I am calling to thank you.

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Rambling

I Don’t Want to Talk to You but I Have To

Everyone has been in a situation where they have to hold multiple or daily conversations with someone they particularly don’t enjoy. Like you are at work (or class when I was a student) and there is this nice person who always wants to talk to you. They have nothing interesting to say and you couldn’t care less about anything that comes out of their mouth but you have to be polite. I used to dread these situations until I found a way to turn it into a game and make it fun.

If you really don’t like the person and only have to see them on occasion then I suggest you repeat the same story every time you talk to them. Find a way to sway any conversation to the same story and wait and see if they say anything to you. From experience most people don’t say anything at all and either think you are crazy or just know you are an asshole. When I worked at Big Cheese in college they hired this kid who was learning how to drive. He was a really nice kid, kind of dumb and he only made my job harder. So every day I would tell him about how I almost failed my driver’s test but in the end got my license. After a few days I would switch the story up just to see if he would say anything. He never said anything and eventually stopped talking to me.

Now if you do kind of like the person and have to see them just about every day then I suggest that you remember a few of the stories they tell you. Save them somewhere in your memory and be sure to key in on at least one detail. When the person starts to get annoying or you just want out of talking to them begin to tell them the story they told you. The trick is to start the story vague and watch as they start to process what you are saying and just before they realize you are being a jerk hit that key detail hard. If you are really good you can play it off at this point and continue the story vague again at first and then boom another key detail. Perfectly executed, this will always end the conversation and after time people will not believe a word you are saying or even better think everything you tell them is something they told you. This game is even fun to play with people you like. I do it all the time and trust me people love it.

Finally if you really hate the person and don’t want to talk to them pretend like you have to go to the bathroom. If you do this every time you talk to them they will either think you have a small bladder or that you are doing drugs. Either way they won’t talk to you; win-win and that’s how I roll.

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Uncategorized

Previously On…

I watch more TV than I probably should but I don’t count the shows on HBO, cause that’s not TV – it’s HBO. I’ve actually cut down on the number of shows I watch and many of the shows that I love have come or are coming to an end. Great now I am depressed.

Anyway my biggest beef currently with television is the couple minutes before each episode they spend reminding their dedicated viewers of plot points. Seriously? When did the American viewing public become so dumb that we need to be reminded of critical plot points before an episode show begins?

Maybe it is just me. Television is like my hobby – I know it’s sad but that’s how I roll. I get obsessed with shows and want to know everything about them. That however does not mean that I remember every single plot point. I may be confused for a second but that confusion feeds my curiosity and I dig deeper to find the information. I ask friends who watch the show, I look online, or I go back and re watch part of an episode. In a sense I guess I create a buzz and isn’t that what every show wants? To be that show that people must watch live so nothing is spoiled? Instead they force feed us reminders before each episode that turn into spoilers that ruin surprise.

On the other hand this could all be the product of the great television renaissance. Never before have so many compelling dramas be on the silver screen. What was once thought to be a sub par medium now has A-list Hollywood actors flocking to create characters that will live on. Still though the audience is smarter than it seems and those “reminders” are unnecessary, at least to me. Don’t even get me started on “previews”…

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Reading of the Declaration of Indepence
10 Dates, Rave

10 Dates in the Past – July 4th 1776

On this historic day I thought I would go back and visit another historic day and add to my list of the 10 dates I would like to visit in the past:

3. July 4th, 1776 – Philadelphia – Independence Square

If I have to explain the historical, societal, cultural, any other –al of this date to you then get out of my blog. Philadelphia is where this country we call The United States of America began. Suck it Boston and New York. Our founding fathers gathered in Independence Hall to write what many believe to be the most important document in human history. Never before had colonies joined together and decided that enough is enough and it was time to take their independence from their mother county. Tired of taxation without representation and all that other exploitation the smartest men in the New World gathered together to declare their independence from the British crown.

The document was read aloud in Independence Square on July 4th, 1776, and the magnitude of those words were soon felt the world over. Who were these brave men who dared defy a super power? How could a ragtag bunch of rebels defeat the mighty red coats? These questions and more were proposed when the 56 men of the Second Continental Congress officially signed and adopted the Declaration of Independence. Although they were some of the finest minds in the New World, I doubt many of the men in that room realized the implications this document would have for years to come.

To be one of those people in the crowd and the first to hear those monumental words to the document would be astonishing. I would love to see the faces of those in the crowd; did they really understand what was happening? Not to mention I would be in the city I love the most at a time when it was the most important city in the New World. Not gonna lie, it would also be kind of cool to dress in some colonial garb. Who knows maybe even I would be able to catch a glimpse of my favorite founding father, Benjamin Franklin and shake the hand of one of the smartest men to ever grace this planet. I will leave you with a quote from my friend Ben at the signing of the Declaration of Independence, “We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately.”

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